Last week I sent a newsletter to my subscribers that was titled
SELF-CARE IS THE SECRET TO SUCCESS
“How does that feel in your body?
What if it were true? Would that change how you treat yourself?
I personally experienced quite a bit of resistance when I upped my self-care game. Feelings of guilt, selfishness, and unworthiness all bubbled to the surface. And they were loud. Putting myself first was in direct opposition to the messages in our culture in general and how I was raised in particular.
And yet, so many successful women, women whom I greatly admire, were sharing that when they fully committed to self-care they experienced big shifts in their lives.
So, I continued on with my research…. acknowledging my discomfort while allowing myself to soften into the pleasure. Over time, the negative voices shifted to a whisper. I began to notice that as I opened to receiving more pleasure in my life not only did I feel great, but everyone else benefitted too!
And so I’ve become super dedicated not only to my own self-care, but to encouraging other women to dive in as well. It’s my whole mission behind Coventina Healing Arts- to offer women opportunities to care for themselves.”
And then, as it often does, life gave me the opportunity to practice what I preach.
On Saturday I led a lengthy ceremony that celebrated a mother-to-be. It required a lot of preparation in the days leading up to it and several hours of travel time added on to the ceremony itself. It was a beautiful and joyous occasion. I felt deeply honored to have participated in this special event. It also left me feeling a bit depleted. I began to pick at myself- focusing on the ways that it could have been better, rather than basking in the glow of the gift I had offered.
I was anxious and exhausted.
I had a Bliss & Gratitude Ceremony scheduled for the following evening. It’s an event that I look forward to each month. I definitely receive as much as I give each time I offer it. And yet, I just knew that I had to cancel. I needed to ground and recoup my energy. And I was desperate for some family time. We had tickets to attend a festival that I was really looking forward to having my son experience. It would involve him experiencing several “firsts.” Those moments are pure gold.
When I signed on to cancel the B&G event I saw that several women in the community had clicked “interested.” I was flooded with guilt. I would love their participation and support and I have been working diligently to foster this community.
I cancelled anyway. I listened to my body and decided to trust that if they were interested now they would be next month as well. Or the month after………
Prior to attending the festival I took some time to sit in ritual to recognize the full moon. I needed to feel grounded and I desired to reconnect with my intuition.
I opened an email from Liz Worth. (I adore her weekly emails and she offers great suggestions for inquiry at the new and full moon.)
Her prompts included:
-Examine any unnecessary pressure that you put on yourself.
-Release any tendencies to hustle too hard.
-Release any shame or judgement you might put on yourself for wanting to take a break or rest.
She also posed the following questions. Below are the answers I received through pulling tarot cards and dialoging with the words/images:
- How can I be easier on myself? A) Surround myself with beauty: family, arts, nature.
- What can I release to create more flow? A) Holding on to the notion of completion or arriving. Having expectations that I should be somewhere other than where I am.
- Where am I putting too much pressure on myself? A) comparison. perfectionism.
- What can I stop doing altogether? A) Stop resisting. Stop struggling.
I really needed to hear all of this! I could feel my body relax as the truth of these words landed in my heart.
As I considered these ideas, the question that popped into my head was:
What if you were guaranteed to be financially cared for? What if you new it was coming? Would you behave differently now?
This question spoke directly to the underlying fear that was feeding my guilt, anxiety and feelings unworthiness.
My heart gushed:
“Yes!! I’d relax into my learning. I’d indulge in decadent self-care.”
That was profound. A single word came to mind that summed this up:
I had successfully cleared away the ramblings of my monkey mind and made space for my heart to speak.
And that felt really really good. I felt grounded and open to fully experiencing all the firsts that the day had in store.
My intention between now and the new moon is to indulge in decadent self-care.
I’d love to hear from you:
Do you make space to listen to your heart speak? How do you stay committed to self-care? What rituals or practices do you have to ground yourself when you are feeling anxious?
Join me for Midsummer Magic on July 23rd. It’s going to be a nourishing day of self-care where we will turn down the noise of distraction so we can turn up the volume of our hearts. We will dance. We will create. We will sip cacao. We will give thanks. We will journal. We will connect with like-minded women. We will laugh. We will cry. We will practice listening to our intuition. We will shed what no longer serves us. Each of these practices will form the path so that we can align with our heart’s desires.